Man Gets Trapped Trying To Shag Mannequin

I tried to put myself in the poor unfortunate's shoes at the point he realized that he required professional assistance to extricate himself. :-)


A 31 year old man from Doncaster received more than he bargained for, as he got a part of himself stuck inside a female display bust he had ordered online from Displaysense and mistaking it for an adult version. The one stop shop for retail display products and mannequins recently received a complaint about one of their new bust displays after it was used in an unusual fashion that has stunned and embarrassed the entire sales team.

A 31 year old man from Doncaster who can not be named for legal reasons has complained to Displaysense, the UK’s leading supplier of mannequins and display busts, after getting a part of himself trapped in a 24mm hole which is designed for a bust stand.The man in question had purchased the display bust by accident after mistaking it for an adult toy. Due to the durability of the display bust, he became concerned that the fire brigade would need to be called to liberate him. But thankfully, a pair of heavy duty scissors were able to cut apart the female bust to release him and relieve his delicate area. After freeing himself, he made a call to Displaysense to complain about the user friendliness of the female bust and that this was not what he had ordered.

Steve Whittle the marketing manager was stunned by this incident and said, “These busts are for display purposes only and no-where on the website or in the products packaging does it state that they should be used for adult means”. During the phone call the gentleman in question demanded a refund on the now dismantled female bust at which point the refund request was politely refused.This is not the first time an incident like this has occurred, in 2005, Michael Plentyhorse an 18 year old from the US was caught after performing an indecent act with an arts centre mannequin. Steve Whittle also commented by saying, “We’ve just added these busts to our range and we normally expect some initial teething problems but not in our 30 years of business have we experienced such an incident.

I just hope we don’t have to go to the extent of placing a warning sticker onto the bust to deter people from considering such inappropriate acts in the future”.A warning sticker on each bust just might not be enough to prevent such ludicrous situations from happening again but the company are considering possibly placing a warning on the new display bust section of their website.

Eleven Months

It's been long time, eleven months in fact since I last posted my blog. I guess I crammed so much into my first posting that it took me a while to collate anything worthwhile to follow that first installment. The year has flown by and a lot has happened since...

Yes, there have been more Capers, I'm glad to say though the Capers have occurred with less frequency. Basically this has a direct link to less alcohol intake, I was and have been if I'm honest on the road to oblivion with the alcohol. Anyone who identifies with this kind of thing I'm sure will concur. You know, it all starts when we're a lot younger, the pub thing. Me and my mates trying to get in the pub...the humiliation of being told I didn't look old enough, the smirks on my mates faces coupled with the satisfaction that their bum fluff meant that they passed the eighteen years old test where as mine, well, I was hard pushed to find any. As was the then landlady of the Fox Inn. (see angelic looking mugshot one Onepotscreamer flickr site)

I remember one night a few of us went into Wigston Boys Club, this must have been an establishment where alcohol was served because I remember one of my very early and painful alcohol experiences. It involved a pint race with one of the Sneath clan, in fact I think we were all involved taking it one turn at a time to race against Mick. Well, I started brightly enough, we were probably racing with ordinary cooking lager, you know, Carling or Fosters. Very gassy and not unlike piss water. I held my own for two thirds of a pint then hit a noticable wall, I continued gulping..whereas my mates could belch to order, I couldn't. Never have been able to master this knack and it never occurred to me that this trick could save me from serious pain and discomfort. That pint sat in my gullet for an excrutiating ten to fifteeen minutes with nowhere to go. That gas ridden cooking lager seemed to bloat my stomack almost to bursting point, if that's anything like almost the point of giving birth then girls, I admire you.

When finally I did let out a trombone of a bone shaking belch my face expressed all the signs of a lad spared the gallows.